Given our general grumpiness and Chicken Little attitude about current economic policies, you might think we’re not big on giving thanks. Not true.
We love Thanksgiving. This uniquely American holiday is not just about overeating, pilgrims and football. It’s a time when markets stop moving, politicians stop making bad decisions and stress takes a holiday. So we have much to be thankful for, even with the economy stuck in neutral.
Thankfulness, though, is all relative. You may have lost your life’s savings on your investment in a chinchilla farm, but still be thankful to be alive. Or you may be in despair, because you’ve dropped a few notches on the Forbes 400 list.
Larry Summers
Yet, if we try hard enough, we can all find something to be thankful for. For example …
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke can be thankful that his term will end before quantitative easing causes the U.S. economy to collapse. As Charles Hugh Smith wrote in the OfTwoMinds blog, “When the multiple bubbles burst and the financial house of cards comes crumbling down, Ben Bernanke will be comfortably secure, far from the consequences of his policies.”
Larry Summers can be thankful he took his name out of the running to be Chairman Bernanke’s successor. The former economic advisor to President Obama has been saying truly crazy things, such as admitting that it’s not a good idea to run huge budget deficits every year and that quantitative easing (QE) for years with no end in sight raises serious concerns. Can you imagine the trouble he’d make if he was named Fed chair?
Janet Yellen can be thankful for Ben Bernanke. When QE tapering causes stock and bond prices to fall, and interest rates to rise, she can blame him, since he was responsible for the QE build up.
Congress – and all of us, really – can be thankful that we can make it through the holidays without a mention of the debt ceiling. The debt ceiling can was kicked down the road to February, so it’s way too early to even think about negotiating an agreement. It would be un-American to even mention the debt ceiling for a couple of more months. With luck, Congress and President Obama will begin discussing it the week before the government is about to run out of money again.
The newly insured can be thankful for Obamacare. All 12 of them. They should also be thankful for their exceptional patience and computer skills. I’m not sure what the millions of people who are losing their health insurance because of Obamacare should be thankful for. Maybe thankful to still be alive?
President Obama can be thankful for Rob Ford. What would you rather watch, a video of Rob Ford saying he was too drunk to realize he was smoking crack and soliciting prostitutes or a video of President Obama telling you that you can keep your doctor and your health plan under Obamacare? Rob Ford rocks (way too much).
Rob Ford can be thankful that he’s still alive.
Marion Berry can be thankful for his new position as consultant to Rob Ford.
Rob Ford
Iranian President Hassan Rouhani should be celebrating that crazy Yankee holiday called Thanksgiving, because he’s now able to continue his nuclear program even as economic sanctions are relaxed.
Warren Buffet can be thankful that he’s Warren Buffet. His $53.5 billion net worth puts him at number two on the Forbes 400. Although Bill Gates should be even more thankful to be at number one with $67 billion. After all, this is the guy whose company created Vista.
James Dimon can be thankful that J.P. Morgan Chase is still in business after the federal government extracted a record $13 billion fine from the company. The company’s biggest sin appears to have been bailing out the government by taking over Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual, both of which had invested heavily in mortgage-backed securities. Did anyone else invest in mortgage-backed securities before the housing bubble and financial crisis?
Shareholders will be picking up the tab, so they may not be feeling too thankful this year.
Twitter cofounders Evan Williams and Jack Dorsey can be thankful for the media hype around their company’s IPO, which made them billionaires. There was plenty of media criticism that Twitter was overvalued, followed by plenty of media criticism that the IPO was underpriced. More criticism to come.
Goldman Sachs, which earned the lion’s share of the $60 million in underwriting fees from the Twitter IPO can be thankful that Twitter didn’t encounter the glitches that Facebook did with its IPO.
- James Dimon
I, of course, am thankful that The Fed, Congress and President Obama provide me with plenty of material for my blog. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.